The Black Forest Speaks
by Shelly Lane
Summary: A few years after the spell has been broken, one of the caretakers of the royal forest describes her personal experiences in the woods and how they differ from the idyllic woodland scenes in fairy tales. (No prizes for guessing what she turned into during the spell over the castle. Hint: It involves the forest scenes in the movie.) Disney, Beaumont, Grimm, and Perrault own all.
1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

**Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs**

Fairy tales make me sick!

Her Majesty, Queen Belle, read a story to her children. It was about _Princesse Blanche Neige_, who used to skip through the forest and pick flowers while singing about the handsome prince of her dreams.

Isn't that sweet? The idyllic forest scene! Tranquility in the beauty of the woodland, birds warbling as the deer drinks peacefully from the brook, the scent of flowers perfuming the breeze under the gentle rays of sunshine that dapple the forest floor through the foliage.

_Blanche Neige_ never had to deal with weeds up to her waist in the summer or tripping over uneven patches of ground on an icy winter night or having her hands torn to pieces by the roughness of tree bark because she grabbed her load of firewood improperly. She never had to wake up three hours after midnight because the Seven _Nains_ had reported meeting up with poachers while patrolling the forest that night. I would even be willing to bet _Blanche Neige_ had never bitten off the head of a live chicken so the _Sept Nains_ wouldn't go hungry during the spell over her castle, nor had she felt the severe burning stab of an arrow between her ribs when someone mistook her for_ la grande méchante louve_.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Although working in a forest can be difficult, it is freedom. In the castle, there's always someone judging you, but no one bothers us out here. To be honest, I doubt the masters care how their forest is run, as long as no one lays siege to their castle and nothing jumps out from behind a tree and bites them.

Contrary to popular belief, the woods usually aren't dangerous. If someone isn't careful or doesn't do his or her job properly, injuries are inevitable, and there is the occasional unforeseen accident, but most of the time, the only weapon you need is a sharp mind. In my opinion, working in a large city can be far more hazardous to your health. The crime rate in most cities is much higher than the number of deaths that occur in forests.

Never mind that now. What was I discussing? Oh, yes. _Blanche Neige_ and other fairy tales about princesses who live in places where the woodland is always pristine, and the weather conditions are ideal every time they step outside.

I've often wondered how those women manage to walk. I always thought dresses seemed so cumbersome, far too impractical to be worn in a forest. Men's clothing is far more practical. I believe that in the future, more women will wear shirts and trousers, but I seem to be the only one in the kingdom who thinks so.

I'll never forget the first day I wore a dress. The castle dressmaker beamed as she handed me a brightly colored fabric with frills everywhere.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Don't you like it?"

"Of course!" I assured her. "It's beautiful!" After a pause, I confessed, "It's just that I've never worn a dress before, so I'm not quite sure…"

She nearly laughed, but she explained how the different parts of the dress should be worn. Then she insisted that I go to my chamber and change into it.

"Why?" I queried. "The big day isn't until tomorrow."

"You might need practice walking in these shoes."

That sounded true enough, so I went to my room and tried on the dress. It took me a half hour. I was beginning to think I should have gotten used to a simple frock before the day came when I would have to wear a gown that looked more suitable for a noblewoman than a caretaker of the royal forest. However, I wasn't about to disappoint my brother. The following day would be one of the most important of his life, so I was determined to look presentable.

When I finally managed to get the shoes on my feet, I nearly frowned as I took a few steps around the room. The shoes were very light, but they were built in such a way that walking through mud or crossing a shallow river would have been impossible. Furthermore, they barely reached my ankles. These weren't anything like the knee-high boots I typically wore. How did women ever walk in these things?

As if the shoes weren't enough of a challenge, the hem of the dress nearly touched the ground. I almost tripped over it every time I took a step. I thought I would never be able to ascend a flight of stairs, but although I am notorious for many things, giving up has never been one of them.

There were other difficulties. I had to make sure no one saw me as I practiced walking in the dress. This is no easy task when you live in a castle owned by the royal family. With all the other servants who live here, it's almost impossible to find an empty room.

Did I mention the gloves? These were delicate silk gloves that reached my elbows, not at all like the leather ones I used while doing my chores. These gloves would have been shredded in seconds if I wore them in the forest.

I was relieved to change back into my regular attire and get back to work. Since this was a special night, we caretakers of the royal forest gathered around a small fire in the woods instead of having dinner in the castle with the masters and the other servants. We had a simple meal of pottage and bread.

"Tonight we share meager provisions," I explained, "for tomorrow, my brother will be too good for them and for us. Loup will be a distant relative of the king himself, and he'll no doubt eat caviar while the rest of us are begging in the streets!"

Our friends howled with laughter and slapped Loup on the back or lightly punched his arm.

"It's your last night as a bachelor, boss," one of the remarked. "What big plans do you have?"

"None," my brother replied. "Lisette is the kind of woman that every man prays to meet. I have no plans except spending the rest of my life with her."

"You're not fooling us!" another of our employees teased. "There's got to be something you want to do to commemorate your last day of being single! Don't you want the chance to act like Lumière?"

This brought another fit of laughter.

"That could prove unwise," Loup joked. "Lisette is the king's cousin. If I break her heart, my own neck will break under a sword or ax."

"Perhaps you'd care to get into a fight so you can act tough a final time before you have to spend the rest of your life using courtesy," I suggested, stoking the fire. "There should be a beast around here somewhere that you can kill."

Loup's hazel eyes turned amber, nearly the same color as the glowing coals. I could tell my comment had irritated him, and I loved it!

"No one fights like Gaston, though," I added, causing more laughter among our friends.

Two hours before the following dawn, it began to storm. The thunder seemed to rattle the every window of the castle. I was thankful that the masters had insisted their forest workers take the night off instead of doing our usual task of patrolling the woodland at all hours. Torrents of rain continued to fall after daybreak, and I was willing to bet the river would flood several areas of the forest, but I didn't have time to worry about that now.

I gently knocked on my brother's door. "Loup?"

Silence.

I knocked a bit louder. "_Réveille-toi! _This is one of the most important days of your life!"

My brother sighed.

"Loup, you regicidal idiot, I'm not _le Petit Chaperon Rouge! _If you're waiting for the 'what large teeth you have' line before you wake up, you can forget it! Now get out here before I huff and puff and blow the castle down!"

He opened the door. I could tell that he hadn't slept well.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm getting married!" He sighed again. "What does it mean if it storms on your wedding day? Does it mean you and your spouse are going to end up fighting constantly?"

"Since when are you superstitious?" I crossed my arms. "All it means is that any guests who go outside will be soaked. Nothing more."

"What if I'm not good enough for Lisette?"

"Spare yourself the worry: You aren't! I could've told you that before you even met her!" After a pause, I added, "Cheer up! Don't you love this woman?"

"Of course I do!"

"How much? Enough to throw yourself to the wolves for her?"

"Throwing yourself to the wolves is easy," Loup replied. "Unless unhealthy or provoked, wolves are too shy to attack humans."

I rolled my eyes. "It's a metaphor, genius!"

"_Oui, je sais_! I was only saying that loving someone enough to throw yourself to the wolves for that person doesn't require much affection, but for Lisette, I would throw myself to the Beast."

Although I try not to make a habit of changing my facial expression, I nearly smiled at his words. I had never fought the Beast who broke so many of our friends' limbs as well as my brother's leg, but when I saw the damage that had been caused, I knew it had to have been a brutal fight. In his own way, my brother had just said he would do anything for Lisette's happiness, no matter what the cost to himself.

"Loup, if you love her that much, then you're both going to be happy for the rest of your lives," I assured him.

The wedding itself was surprisingly uneventful. Loup didn't seem to like the suit that had been made for him. (Some parts were wool, and he always claims that wool makes him feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing.) He also had to stand next to the masters. (He hates being near them, especially when he's close to King Adam's right arm.) However, my brother didn't complain.

I felt very uncomfortable in my dress; I wanted nothing more than to find a tunic or doublet and a pair of trousers with a sword belt, not to mention I was already starting to miss my boots and leather gloves. As if it wasn't enough that I had to wear a dress, delicate shoes, and silk gloves, the other women of the castle had arranged my hair. I knew almost every one of the masters' servants was staring at me because they'd never seen me like this before, and I wanted nothing more than to tell them to mind their own business, but this was the day I gained a sister-in-law; I wasn't about to show up in my regular work clothes or start any fistfights.

However, I did hide an arrow in the bouquet I held. (Lisette had insisted that all women at her wedding should receive their own sprig of flowers.) The arrow once belonged to a farmer, but after he had sent it between my ribs, I always considered it to be my property. I kept it in my room to remind me of obstacles I had overcome, but I thought it was appropriate to bring to the wedding. Years ago, when Lisette had seen me wounded, she removed the arrow; that's how I met her. If I hadn't met her, I would never have introduced her to my brother, and if he had never met her, then they wouldn't have fallen in love.

I bet _Blanche Neige_ never brought an arrow to a wedding.


	2. The Three Little Pigs

**The Three Little Pigs**

Another fairy tale I can't stand is_ Les Trois Petits Cochons. _

If you think for a moment, it makes no sense at all! First of all, how do you build a house completely of straw anyway? You'd need something sturdy for the frame. Second, did the third pig have a history of being paranoid? If he was so afraid of some unforeseen danger,why didn't he warn the other two? No one builds a brick house out of sheer boredom.

The wolf, I believe, is the most confusing part of the story. Most people who say the wolf was wicked have eaten sausage, ham, and other foods made of pork. Hypocrites!

Why did the sow send her offspring away to fend for themselves if there was a wolf in the area? How was the wolf able to blow down the first two houses? Did the first two pigs build their homes somewhere the wind never blew? Wouldn't the wind have knocked down their houses before the wolf even got there? In fact, why didn't the wolf burn the houses down instead? It would have trapped the pigs and cooked them instead of allowing them to have the chance to escape.

As for the brick house, a smart wolf would have waited until the middle of the night and broken a window or gotten his friends together and besieged the house. There was no need to allow the third little pig to continue to outwit him.

These had to have been the kind of pigs that farmers raise. If they had been wild boars, the story would have been much shorter. A wild boar can kill a wolf. I have many scars to remind me of unpleasant memories of feeling tusks during a battle to see which opponent could tear the other to pieces first.

However, wild boars are generally harmless to humans. There are occasional attacks, but most of the time, they won't bother anyone who doesn't try to harm them first. Human beings, on the other hand, are notorious for unprovoked attacks, especially to those of their own species.

"Aren't you supposed to be working in the forest?!"

I looked up from the shafts in my hand to see Cogsworth standing beside my chair.

"The length of time I need to finish my chores is none of your concern!" I retorted as I continued to fletch arrows.

"The masters wish to see you in the West Wing."

I nodded without looking up from my work.

"At once!"

"They can either wait or talk to me where I am. I have never allowed my employees to go without anything they need, and I'm not about to start now!"

Cogsworth frowned. "A good servant does not delay when the masters give orders."

"Who in this castle has ever considered me to be a good servant?"

He was silent for the longest time before replying, "I'll let them know you'll be there shortly."

Alright, I admit it. I push limits and test boundaries so often that it seems like I invite trouble. I go into the forbidden West Wing at least twice a month, usually to read the king's journal or the queen's diary. (You'd think they'd learn to get better about hiding books that they don't want to be shared!) I take my time obeying commands or summons.

Mrs. Potts thinks all the difficulties I've had in life, such as spending my childhood as a beggar and a decade of my adulthood as a wolf, are what causes me to act the way I do, or perhaps it's because I'm one of the lower class servants and I feel I have no other way to make myself noticed.

However, the explanation for my insolence is much more simplistic: I act this way because it's fun! There is great pleasure in sneaking into the castle library and stealing a book to read as I do my chores (yes, it is possible to do both at the same time if you're clever enough) or borrowing one of King Adam's cloaks to play the favorite game of nearly every servant in the castle: Impressions of the Masters.

I am almost never caught, but there have been a few exceptions. Once I found a book about wolves. I had read less than three paragraphs when I realized that I had to share this book with my brother and our employees, so I read aloud as we worked. When one of the groundskeepers came to the forest to announce that the noon meal was ready, many of our friends were kneeling on the ground, breathless and unable to stand from their frequent bouts of laughter. The spectacle startled the groundskeeper so much that he told the masters, who immediately came to the forest to see what was wrong. By that time, the others had managed to regain control of themselves, but Loup was so amused that his hazel eyes still had an amber tinge. The masters asked no questions, but I could tell they suspected that we had been up to something.

Another time, I had managed to get my hands on the king's cloak and had draped it around my own shoulders.

_"Voulez-vous me battre, maître?" _Loup joked.

"You want to fight?" I pretended to consider it. "I ordinarily wouldn't do this, but…" I drew my sword. "Release the peasant or die!"

Most of the servants agree that even a fake swordfight is dangerous, but my brother and I have been having mock battles most of our lives, so we know how to use swords against each other without either of us being harmed. Besides, it's good practice for when we have to use our swords against real opponents.

"What idiot wears a cloak to a fight for someone's life?!" I rhetorically demanded as I parried a thrust. "This thing is the very definition of 'cumbersome'! No wonder you defeated him so easily!"

"Defeated who?" queried an unexpected voice.

I looked up to see King Adam himself watching us. Thanks to an enchantress, my hearing is still much better than that of most people, but my brother and I had been having so much fun that I had failed to notice approaching footsteps.

"Defeated Guy of Gisbourne!" I answered. "I'm the Sheriff of Nottingham, and I'm trying to bring this outlaw, Robin Hood, to be hanged, but he refuses to make my job any easier!"

"Where did you get my cloak?" the king inquired.

"I found it hanging over a chair."

He looked as if he didn't quite believe me, but he merely took his cloak and left without any further discussion.

The day the masters summoned me to the West Wing to discuss a journey they were planning, the conversation was nothing like I expected. It began the usual way: They were sending some of the other servants to visit a nobleman in his castle and attend to some business matters.

"Most of the roads leading to the castle will be through heavily wooded areas, so we would like you and your men to accompany them," King Adam concluded.

"Translation: You don't want them to get lost by making a wrong turn, and they're afraid of wild animals and robbers," I responded.

Whatever the true motives may have been, they are still our masters. They need not explain their reasoning for anything; we servants simply do their bidding because it is our duty to obey.

Loup, who had been married for little over a year, was a bit hesitant to leave Lisette. She assured him that the few days we would be gone would pass quickly enough. Besides, the baby wasn't likely to arrive for at least another fortnight, most likely longer.

At first the journey was pleasant, an easy walk down clear paths through meadows with patches of trees in the distance. By sundown, many of the servants were complaining that their feet were tired, and we had reached an area of the forest where trees grew so close together that it was nearly impossible to walk between them. The path was so overgrown with weeds and small shrubs that it had become almost nonexistent.

"Take heart," Cogsworth began. "We should reach the nobleman's castle before nightfall, and then..."

As if in reply, the wheels of the royal carriage hit an unseen rock, jolting the passengers and breaking a wheel.

"Can this be repaired?" Cogsworth asked the other servants.

"To have the wheel repaired is not impossible," one of them answered, "but it would take nearly an hour in broad daylight, and it's difficult to see at dusk."

An eerie sound pierced through the darkening forest.

La Plume shuddered. "Excuse me? Forest caretakers? What was that noise?"

"As the Latin scholars and scientists like to call it," I explained, "it is the rallying cry of _Animalia Chordata Mammalia Carnivora Canidae Canis lupus_."

He sighed with relief. "Thank goodness! For a moment, I was afraid it was the howling of a wolf!"

Ignoring the sound, Cogsworth began, "We could abandon the carriage and walk to the castle, but it would be too far to reach on foot before dark. Since we don't want to get lost in these woods, I think we should stay here. The knights will protect us from any robbers who may be lurking in the shadows. In the morning, we'll have the wheel repaired and be on our way to a good breakfast."

"You mean we have to spend the night in the forest?!" I sank to my knees. "Whatever will we do?! Where will we find any food for supper?! We'll have to build houses of straw, but that still won't be adequate enough shelter! The wolves will pull us down by our throats so they can rip out our internal organs until we finally die of blood loss! Those of us who survive will shiver in the night air, too cold to sleep on the hard rocks in the mud!"

My brother was trying not to laugh at my sarcasm. We've been sleeping in the forest overnight since before we were hired as servants. As children, we found the woods were often more comfortable than our hovel.

"We're going to find food and shelter for the evening," I announced. "Would anyone else like to come with us?"

Lumière frowned. "What makes you think we would hunt like wolves?!"

"Suit yourself." I shrugged. "Just don't go over that hill on the southern horizon."

"You know this area of woodland?" Loup asked as we left with the other forest workers.

"I used to steal food from the wolves out here during the spell."

My brother sighed. "Louve, it is both foolish and dangerous for a lone wolf to challenge a pack over food!"

"It is also both foolish and dangerous for anyone to stand in my way when my friends are in need," I replied. "Besides, there's no reason to outfight anything you can outwit. There are ways of stealing a recent kill without risking a direct confrontation."

He changed the subject. "How far do you think we are from the masters' land?"

"The masters are royalty. It's all their land. As for their castle, by the road, it's about a day away if you have wagons and carriages, but if you go by foot and take shortcuts, it only takes a few hours to get here. Speaking of castles, the nobleman's castle that we're visiting should be right…around…here…somewhere…" I pointed. "There it is! Not more than a five minute walk from where the carriage lost a wheel! You just have to take paths that aren't on main roads and know how to move through these thick patches of trees."

As soon as we explained to the gatekeeper that we were the servants of the rulers of France and had come to discuss a business matter, we were welcomed into the castle and led to a table where a splendid feast had been prepared. The nobleman's own servants entertained us with music and witty anecdotes. After our meal, we were shown to comfortable rooms where we could spend the evening.

When we had finished our breakfast the next morning, we discussed the purpose for our visit. Thankfully, the business matters didn't take long at all, and we moved on to more pleasant conversations.

At that moment, the other servants burst through the door, glaring as they scolded us for "abandoning" them.

"Have you been here this whole time?!" Cogsworth demanded.

"No, we've been on the roof," I answered. "We just climbed into this room through the nearest window when we saw you coming so we could greet you."

He rolled his eyes at my sarcasm.

"_Ne me regardez pas comme ça!_" I replied evenly. "We invited you to come with us. It's not our fault you didn't accept our offer. Turn your condescending gaze elsewhere!"

"By the way, what was over that hill you warned us to avoid?" La Plume inquired. "The one that was on the southern horizon?"

"Their den," I responded. "You were far enough away that you weren't bothering them, but if you'd gotten any closer, you would have been digging your own graves."

"Whose den?" Lumière asked.

"See? We told you they're a timid species that avoids people unless unhealthy or provoked." I couldn't resist adding, "Even then, they'll usually give you a warning before they attack, such as snarling, growling, or blowing your house to the ground if you were dumb enough to build it of straw instead of staying in a stone castle."


	3. Little Red Riding Hood

**Little Red Riding Hood**

Once upon a time there was a peasant girl who ventured into an unfamiliar area of woodland alone and faced a wolf attack.

I was talking about_ le Petit Chaperon Rouge._ Who did you think I meant, _la maitresse_?

"Loup, may I speak with you a moment?" I asked when we had finished our chores one evening.

He nodded and told our employees to go to the castle for dinner; we would catch up with them shortly.

My brother had a seat on the nearest stump. "What's on your mind, Louve?"

"She's not an only child," I whispered.

"Who?"

"The queen!" I looked around to make sure no one else was listening. "Before Philippe was born, Monsieur Maurice's family was rich, and his two older daughters had the chance to marry wealthy gentlemen. His youngest daughter was just a baby, and his sons were soldiers who had to go off to war. By the time Philippe was a colt, Queen Belle was the only child left at home, and her poor mother was at rest. It wasn't much longer before Monsieur Maurice lost his fortune. He went to visit his two older daughters, but at both houses, he got the same reply: Their husbands had both feared that they would be the next to fall into poverty, so they sailed across the sea to seek ways to maintain their prosperity." I sighed. "Their ship never returned. No one knows what happened to their widows. It's why Monsieur Maurice and Queen Belle are so close: they're all that's left of a happy family."

"Alright. I'm in." Loup tightened his sword belt. "When do we start?"

"Start what?"

"We're going to find them!"

"Are you out of your mind?!" I took a deep breath. "Loup, for once, you're actually behaving as if hidden in the very depths of your regicidal, lupine heart, there's something sweet and almost kind. Although you're mean and rather coarse and unrefined, you're acting dear…"

"Why so unsure?" He shook his head sadly. "It's a shame we didn't know about this before."

"Listen very carefully," I argued. "We don't know their names. We don't know where they live. We don't know what they look like. There is no way in the name of Madame de Beaumont that we could ever hope to find one of them, let alone the entire…"

"We've got to try! Don't I owe it to Her Majesty after I nearly…?!" My brother lowered his head in shame, unable to finish his sentence.

"Meet me in the castle library after everyone else has fallen asleep."

Just before midnight, Loup came to the library. I held out something I had "borrowed" from the West Wing: the masters' mirror.

"Show me the queen's eldest brother," I whispered.

In a burst of light that I'm surprised didn't wake half the castle, the mirror showed three men that looked like younger versions of Monsieur Maurice.

"Brothers," one of the men said, "is it not a shame that our father has never seen his grandchildren?"

"Indeed," the second replied. "What a pity we were never able to find him after the war so many years ago."

"That's them!" Loup exclaimed.

"Will you shut your mouth?!" I gestured in Lupine. "Do you want the masters to come here and demand to know why their mirror is missing from the West Wing, what we're doing with it, and why we're trying to find siblings that la maitresse doesn't even remember that she has because she was so young when they left?! Good servants are supposed to mind their own business, and I only found out about the missing siblings because I've been reading books that were none of my concern!"

Lupine is a difficult language, more about body posture and the angle of the head than it is about hand signals or verbal communication. The only language that would be more challenging to learn is Telepathy.

"Show me where the brothers live," I whispered to the mirror.

Loup stared at the image and gestured, "I recognize this town. It isn't too far from the village where Queen Belle was living before she met King Adam."

"It's a start."

Without a word, we slipped out of the castle. If we hurried, we could finish our errand before daybreak.

For those who have never hurried through a forest at night, I would not recommend the experience. In addition to uneven ground and the possibility of getting lost or running into a stump, it's nearly impossible to keep silent as you run over small twigs, leaves, rocks, etc., and in the forest, the ability to maintain silence is essential.

However, Loup and I have had years of practice. I can't tell you how many times we've sprained our ankles or taken wrong turns into the nearest hedge, all the while making more commotion than a wounded beast, but we learned. We had to learn. For ten years, our survival depended on outmaneuvering other creatures of the forest without letting them hear us approach.

In no time at all, we had reached the home that the mirror showed us. Gesturing in Lupine for my brother to wait a moment, I slipped a sort of costume over my regular clothes before I knocked at the door.

One of the men we had seen in the mirror answered. "Yes?"

"Good morning, sir," I began. "My name is Cunning, and this is my brother, Trickery. We bring news of your father, Monsieur Maurice."

His eyes widened. "How…?"

"He's a famous inventor now. He lives at the royal castle with his daughter, Queen Belle."

The man gasped. "So…the queen and our youngest sister don't just share the same name…they are the same person! Oh, I shall have to wake my brothers, and then we'll have to invite our sisters! Father probably thinks his sons-in-law are dead since their ship was reported lost at sea, but the ship returned a few weeks later."

I hardly dared believe my luck. The brothers knew where their sisters were, and the sisters' husbands were still alive! The happy family would soon be reunited.

I turned to my brother. "Come, Trickery. Let us be off."

"Of course, Cunning," he replied.

"Wait!" The queen's brother frowned. "How do I know you two can be trusted?"

Loup shrugged. "What do you have to lose?"

"I suppose you might be right." He paused. "But isn't the royal forest guarded by the fiercest pack of wolves in all Europe?"

"Monsieur, how do you know these same wolves have never set foot on your own porch?"

With that, we both turned and walked away. We kept an easy gait until we were out of sight of the town; then we ran. (I paused only long enough to remove the costume I had put over my regular clothes.) If we weren't back at the castle before breakfast, the masters would realize we had left without telling them.

"You've got to quit doing this," I gestured in Lupine as we slipped inside the castle. "You're a father now, Loup. How can you expect your child to obey you if you go plotting behind the backs of your own masters?"

"You're the one who found out about all this," he gestured back.

"You're the one who demanded a plan for it."

"You're the one who stole the mirror."

"You're the one who recognized the town."

He thought a moment before gesturing, "Well, you shouldn't have been in the West Wing!"

I'm sure my hazel eyes had an amber sparkle as I silently answered, "Well, you should learn to control your temper!"

We had worked together to accomplish this feat; we both knew it.

Now all I had to do was frame someone so the masters wouldn't find out I had borrowed their magic mirror without asking permission. I decided the kitchen would be as good a place as any to leave it. I also placed the costume there.

Shortly after breakfast, five men and two women came to the castle, escorted by the other forest workers.

"We caught these people in your forest, masters," one of our employees explained, bowing to King Adam and Queen Belle. "They claim they know Monsieur Maurice."

"I'll let him know," King Adam replied. "Thank you for showing them to the castle."

Monsieur Maurice's eyes widened when he saw his sons, daughters, and sons-in-law. They all ran forward to embrace each other and Queen Belle, most of them trying unsuccessfully to hide tears of joy.

"How did you find me?" Monsieur Maurice asked. "I thought I'd never see any of you ever again!"

"We were brought here through Cunning and Trickery!" one of the brothers replied.

The queen's father frowned. "Cunning and trickery? I don't understand."

"Neither do we, Father, but one of them wore a dress the color of burgundy and a veil. She had gloves lined with real fur, and it was impossible to tell the color of her hair or eyes."

Monsieur Maurice was even more confused. "Someone matching that same description filled out an entry form for me and made an appearance at the fair with my latest invention, and I won first prize, but I never figured out who she might have been, even though she apparently claimed to be my niece."

"It may have been someone from the kitchen," King Adam suggested. "The chef found such a wardrobe there this morning, along with my magic mirror."

Having successful cast unjust suspicion on the scullery staff, I was free to begin my daily chores with a clear conscience. On my way out to the forest, I paused by the gate.

Monsieur Maurice has never forgotten the wolf attack that first led him to the masters' castle, especially the wolf that grabbed his foot and tried to pull him back through the gate. A wolf's jaws exert 1500 pounds of pressure per square inch. It takes only 400 pounds, often much less if the blow is delivered correctly, to break a human bone. The wolf could have broken Monsieur Maurice's ankle, just as her brother could have broken King Adam's arm.

How scared Monsieur Maurice must have been! What big eyes he had, widened with terror! What unsteady hands he had, trembling with fear! What small teeth he had, contrasting the lupine pairs of fangs each time he cried out with fright!

What strange looks he gives me, never understanding why sometimes when I pass him, I can't resist drawing my sword and very lightly tapping his heel once or twice.

I had no time to dwell on past mistakes. Unlike _le Petit Chaperon Rouge, _when I go through the forest, I have chores to do. We can't all skip around with baskets of dessert and pick flowers all day without a care in the world.

For the record, I would love to know what kind of mother sends such a young child into a forest by herself.


	4. Sleeping Beauty

**Sleeping Beauty**

There's no doubt about it. Sleeping in the forest can be pleasurable, as long as one is well prepared. However, most people who try to spend the night in the forest don't know how to build a fire without any tools or how to predict the weather or find food or repel bugs._ La Belle au Bois Dormant_ was not one of these people, yet she still slept for a hundred years in a tower with a thicket of thorns around it.

I always wondered why her prince chose to cut through the thicket with his sword rather than burning it off little by little, but I suppose that would have been even more difficult. You see, if left untouched for a hundred years, the land would have had tall trees surrounding the tower for miles. The prince would have gotten lost in the woods at least twenty or thirty times while his poor horse was repeatedly pricked by the thorns, not to mention the weeds would be taller than the prince would even want to imagine.

Any idiot who thinks he's going to cut through a hundred years of thorns and undergrowth and trees just by waving his sword a few times has obviously never worked a day in his life clearing trails. Was this prince even wearing gloves? If so, were they the leather gloves of a worker or the silk gloves of a nobleman, gloves that would have been torn to pieces in seconds? (The only use I've ever had for silk gloves is wondering whether or not there's a way to hit someone with them hard enough for it to sting when challenging that person to a duel. So far I've had no luck with silk, but if you fill a leather glove with small rocks, it can do wonders if you know how to swing it properly. The way I always saw it: Why slap someone gently when challenging them if you're just going to battle the idiot anyway?)

Clearing a trail is a lot of work. In addition to briers, you also risk the occasional dead animal or fallen tree limb in the middle of the path. However, you can't spend all day just making sure the trails don't become overgrown. You also have to make sure there's not an overpopulation of any one species, plant or animal, in any given area of the forest. Then there's all the fun of making sure no poachers, robbers, or potentially dangerous wild animals get too close to the castle, and let's not forget about keeping plant and animal diseases under control before the illnesses ruin the ecosystem. Rivers and clearings must be kept free from pollution, remote areas of the forest must be patrolled, and roads must be maintained so travelers won't be hindered when passing through the woods. Whenever the masters want game dishes, it's our responsibility to catch the required number of animals in the time given. When the woodcutters come to gather firewood, it's our job to make sure they only cut down certain trees in the right area of the forest. At any given time, even at night or during bad weather, someone must be patrolling the woods, unless the masters say otherwise, and they rarely give time off. Any forest fires, outlaws, rabid animals, or other unexpected problems must be met with immediate, decisive action.

That's just the outdoor work. There are housekeeping duties in the small cabins we sometimes use when working in a part of the forest too far from the castle to walk back and forth more than a few times, and since we are lower class servants, the maids never clean our rooms in the castle; we must do so ourselves. Since Sultan was our dog before he came to live with the masters, we have to take care of him.

In addition, Loup and I work to provide everything our men need, for they are our friends first and our employees second. We fletch arrows, stitch garments, and do chores for the other servants for money to buy what we cannot make ourselves. When one of our men is sick or injured, we give him as many days off as he needs, and we do not count it against his wages. The money to pay the royal physicians comes from our own pockets. Furthermore, even when the other caretakers of the royal forest are healthy, my brother and I insist on taking the most dangerous or arduous tasks for ourselves; it isn't right that our men should suffer. During the spell, we made sure they all had three meals a day, each meal with enough food for them all to feel full, even if it meant that we often went hungry. We refused to let them join us to hunt wild boars or steal livestock; it simply wouldn't have done at all to have them putting themselves in danger.

All that work can lead to sore muscles if you aren't careful, but after years of doing these chores, we're used to a few minor aches and pains every now and then. That being, I wasn't too surprised the day my brother confessed to me that his head was killing him.

"Are you ill?" I asked.

He sighed. "It's Lisette's birthday. I love my wife, and I want to do something special for her to celebrate that she was born, so I suggested we visit the nearest city after I finish my chores. It would be a few hours away from the castle, maybe having a nice dinner somewhere or buying her something she noticed in a shop window."

"Loup, that's a very sweet gesture! Lisette will swoon into your arms!"

"It was a dumb idea! She noticed that the opera is performing tonight, and she wants to go!"

Although I pride myself on my lack of facial expressions, I nearly laughed. "The wolf who tries to tear off the Beast's arm gets to spend twelve hours hearing female Vikings sing, 'My stays are too tight!' in three different languages while some man with leggings about five sizes too small falls in love with a gypsy!"

That did it for our men. They collapsed helplessly in a fit of laughter, gasping for breath and wiping tears from their eyes.

"The truth, boss!" one of them began. "Would you rather face the opera or the Beast?!"

"The Beast," Loup replied. "I don't even have to think about that one."

It was getting harder for me not to laugh.

"Do you want to get stuck babysitting or not?!" my brother demanded.

I nearly gasped in delight, but I managed to make my voice sound almost monotonous. "I suppose it would be the least I could do."

The day passed so slowly. I was so impatient to babysit my niece that I could barely concentrate on my chores.

Just before dinner, Lisette placed the baby in my arms, giving a brief speech about how I should ask Mrs. Potts if I needed any help. I nodded, but my eyes weren't on her; I saw nothing but the gift that heaven had sent my undeserving brother.

"Best of luck to you," Loup told me.

"You're the one who's going to need luck," I whispered. "I've got what I want!"

He shook his head as he left with Lisette.

"Hello, little one." I lightly kissed the baby's forehead, causing a small hand to rise and stroke the side of my face. "Mustn't do that. You're going to make Auntie very unfit to guard the forest. We mustn't make the other servants think that Auntie has a heart somewhere."

There was no conviction in my voice. I knew it.

"Look at you! You're even more beautiful than your mother! You don't look anything like your father."

Tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb, which was promptly shoved into a toothless mouth.

I almost laughed. "Alright, so you've got a bit of my brother in you too. Are you going to eat Auntie's thumb? Hmm? Are you going to try to eat Auntie's right arm?"

The baby started cooing.

"Is that so?" I cuddled her. "You want Auntie to teach you how to sneak into the West Wing when you're a little older? You're so lucky! _Maman_ is going to teach you to be a proper lady of the royal court, but Auntie is going to teach you how to use weapons and wear men's clothing because it's so much easier than wearing a dress. You'll get to learn how to be both a noblewoman and someone who refuses to be a damsel in distress." I stared at the sweet face that looked up at me. "You're so beautiful. You're going to break a lot of hearts when you get older."

What torture it was! How awful to prepare a bottle and see little hands wave excitedly while bright eyes looked up gratefully! How I hated having someone snuggle close and coo at me! How dreadful to have someone fall asleep with her head on my shoulder and pat me in her sleep! What a horrible taste all those lullabies left in my mouth! How difficult to bear my suffering with patience and inner strength!

If anyone believes that, I would like to sell them some property that I own in the country between France and Spain.

"You look different," Angelique remarked.

"How so?" I asked, lightly kissing the tiny forehead that was just inches away from my lips.

"Your eyes." She thought a moment, unsure how to explain it. "They usually seem to have a bit of fire in them, sort of an angry fire, but now they have a more gentle warmth." After a pause, she added, "And your face. Usually, it's impossible to tell what you're thinking because you seem so distant, almost stoic, but your facial expression is a bit softer now."

Still fast asleep, the baby put her arms around my neck.

"Now even more so," Angelique remarked. "You look so…well…human."

I ordinarily would have resented such a remark, but with my niece so close, I didn't have it in my heart to hate anything.

Mrs. Potts commented that I looked natural. "You need one of your own someday, dear."

"That would be an interesting feat," I answered. "First I'd have to be in love, and we both know that men fall in love with proper ladies. No one's ever going to marry someone like me."

All too soon, Lisette and Loup returned to the castle. As Lisette left the room with the part of my heart still held in my niece's palm, my brother sat in King Adam's favorite chair, resting his elbows on his knees as he buried his face in his hands.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

He looked up at me. "Lisette was mistaken. The opera wasn't in town." He massaged the sides of his head, trying to relieve his migraine. "The ballet was!"

I felt sorry for my brother, and I wanted to make him feel better, so I removed my glove and lightly slapped the side of his face.

In an instant, he was on his feet. "Now you're talking!"

We drew our swords and fought for nearly a half hour.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"_Oui, merci_," Loup answered. "How did the babysitting go?"

"To be honest, I don't know how I ever managed," I responded. "Not everyone gets to hold a sleeping beauty." I stood akimbo. "We need to talk. Your daughter thinks it's alright to bite thumbs."

"Is that so?"

"She nearly tore my right arm off. The pain was terrible, and I lost so much blood that I collapsed helplessly, and then everything went black!"

Loup's eyes turned amber. "You've got a cruel sense of humor, Louve."

"Oh, did I get your hackles up with my biting remark? I didn't mean to get under your skin. I apologize if I rubbed your fur the wrong way."

In fairy tales, everything always ends happily ever after, but in real life, there's only the beginning of another day. Another day of painful memories that can never be undone, but another day to make a failed attempt to make things right. Who cares what tomorrow may hold, as long as I get my chores finished?

If anyone would like to try doing them for me, be my guest. Until then, I will be awake before the sun rising in the east, ready to begin my work, slipping into the forest to see if there's something there that wasn't there before, no matter what. I shouldn't complain. After all, at least I'm human again. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm grateful for this change in me. Besides, there are benefits to rising before dawn: You get to see the sun come up and bathe the forest in golden light as the animals begin to stir. It may not be the idyllic fairy tale scene, but there is indeed beauty among the beasts.


End file.
